


Sense Memory

by mithrel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blanket Permission, Crossdressing Kink, Frottage, M/M, Podfic Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-11
Updated: 2010-10-11
Packaged: 2017-11-13 14:00:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/504265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithrel/pseuds/mithrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s overreacting, he knows he’s overreacting, but he can’t help it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sense Memory

Cas pulls back from Dean’s mouth and whispers, “Do something for me?”

“What?” Dean asks.

“Wear these?” Cas pulls something out of his pocket and hands it to him.

Dean’s thrown the scrap of blue silk across the room almost before he’s consciously realized what it is. “What the hell?! I’m not wearing those!”

“But–” Cas starts.

Dean cuts him off. “Those are girl’s panties, Cas! I’m a guy, and I’m not wearing them!” He knows he’s overreacting, but the sight of the panties had sent a combined bolt of lust and panic through him. He hasn’t worn panties for more than ten years, not since the first time, has never told anyone else, and the thought that Cas _knows…_

He gets up and grabs his keys, his hands shaking, and bolts for the parking lot.

It takes him a long while to calm down. He hasn’t worn panties for more than ten years, and he hasn’t missed it, hasn’t missed the high it gave him. He hasn’t.

When he gets back to the motel the panties are gone.

So is Cas.

***

Cas doesn’t mention it again, and Dean’s relieved. He’s most certainly _not_ disappointed. Or obsessing. About what it would be like to do it again, feel silk and lace against him…

Dean doesn’t mention it either. He can’t ask how Cas found out, since that’s as good as admitting it turns him on.

He knows Cas doesn’t get why he freaked out, which makes sense. Angels are asexual or neuter or something, and they don’t really get human gender roles and the stigma that comes with blurring them. Dean had enough trouble dealing with the fact that he’s with a guy-shaped person without…this.

But that same lack of understanding means Cas won’t hold it against him. Even if he got it, knew why it Wasn’t Done, if he hadn’t judged Dean for torturing souls in Hell he’s not gonna judge him for liking to wear women’s underwear.

But Dean’s never been good at communicating, never been good at asking for what he wants, particularly something like this.

But he finally decides to bite the bullet. So one day more than a week after the thing first came up, when they’re alone together, he says, “Cas…”

“Mmm?” Cas pulls away from his neck to look at him.

And that makes it worse. Dean can’t ask for it when Cas’ laser stare is focused on him. “Do you remember…when you…did…” It’s no use. He can’t say it.

“Dean. You have been…preoccupied lately. Why?”

“How’d you know?” Dean asks.

“I put you back together. Mind as well as body and soul. I know everything about you.”

Dean swallows. “Oh.”

“I did not mean to distress you.”

“Yeah, I…I know. It’s just…I…guys don’t _do_ that, Cas!”

Cas cocks his head at him. “Why not?”

“They…they just don’t!”

Cas nods. “I will not speak of it again, then.”

“No!” Dean blurts out, then when Cas looks at him he flushes and mumbles, “I mean…I...” _Get a grip, Winchester. Don’t make yourself any more of a girl than you already are._ “I want to.”

He barely whispers it, but Cas nods. “Are you certain?”

Dean lets out a messy, shaky breath. “Yeah.”

Cas takes out the panties again and hands them to him. Dean forces himself to look at them.

They’re a deep blue in color, silky, with lace edging. Dean swallows and sets them aside.

He’s already barefoot, and he sits on the edge of the bed, taking off his flannel and T-shirt. After a long moment he steels himself, unbuttons the fly on his jeans and pulls them off.

He can’t go any further, literally, physically _can’t._ He just sits there in his boxers, short of breath and shaking.

It’s Cas who picks up the panties and comes to stand in front of him. Dean closes his eyes and leans back on his hands, lets Cas take his boxers off and slide the panties on in their place.

Dean shudders, his cock already filling. He looks down. The fabric is distorted where it wraps around his cock, and there’s a wet spot of darker blue forming where the tip is pressed against it.

“What does it feel like?” Cas asks, and Dean closes his eyes.

“It…God, I can’t even…” he trails off into silence.

Cas is still mostly dressed, although his trenchcoat is folded over a chair nearby. He leans down, presses Dean into the sheets and kisses him.

Dean opens his mouth right away and grinds up, the contrast of the roughness of Cas’ clothes and the smoothness of the panties almost too much.

Cas reaches down, traces around the line of his cock and Dean wrenches away from his mouth to moan.

Cas gets a thigh between Dean’s legs, and he can feel him hard against him. He arches up, rubbing against Cas, desperately seeking friction, feeling the material shift and catch as he does.

Dean grinds up again as Cas pants against his neck, feeling his orgasm building. From the way Cas’ hips are thrusting down he’s not far behind.

He hasn’t had a high like this in forever. He’s had all kinds of sex, with all kinds of people, and nothing, _nothing_ compares to this. He wonders what that says about him, then decides he doesn’t care.

When Cas reaches down again and slides his thumb over the head of his cock Dean arches up off the bed despite the fact that Cas is on top of him, coming harder than he has in ten years.

He slumps down, his blood buzzing with endorphins, his body shaking. It takes him a long time to get his breathing back under control, and when he does he looks over at Cas, who’s rolled off him and is lying next to him. “Did you…?”

Cas nods. “I did,” he says, his voice rougher than usual.

“Oh. Good.” Dean hadn’t been in any shape to notice.

He shifts slightly, and grimaces when the fabric pulls at the tacky residue of his orgasm. “Ugh.” He peels the ruined panties off and looks at them, then gets up to throw them in the trash with a small sigh.

“We could do that again, if you’d like,” Cas says softly behind him.

Dean looks over his shoulder at him. “Yeah?”

“Yes. You looked good in them.”

Dean shivers despite himself, and Cas adds, “But I think you’d look better in green.”


End file.
